Letters

With regard to banker's bonuses, the government are understandably cautious about killing the goose that laid the golden egg. Unfortunately this particular goose has also been devouring 10 times its share of the corn whilst, at the same time, crapping all over the rest of us from a great height

Depressingly, Julie Burchill thinks that the erection of the hammer and sickle over the Reichstag was good news for Germany, when it opened 'its heart to the Red Army'. That presumably would be the same Red Army that raped its way across the country. I suspect if you opened your heart to the Red Army in 1945 they'd probably eat it.

Now that the end of the world has been postponed until the 21st October, I'm wondering if the Reverend Camping and his followers would consider handing over their money, property and worldly goods to me, before they are swept up into heaven. After all, they won't be needing them anymore.,

I was shocked and disgusted by the story of Mary Bale throwing a cat into a wheelie bin. Doesn't she realise that there's a separate collection for pet recycling these days.

Regarding your story about war criminals living in Britain, you say that these people lie on their entry forms. I just wonder what sort of person fills in an entry form, gets to the bit that asks 'Are you a war criminal?' and answers 'Yes'

I was particularly impressed, in your piece about the Royal Academy British Sculpture exhibition, by the item entitled 'Electric Fire with Yellow Fish' which consisted of an old electric fire with a plastic yellow fish inside the grill. As it happens I have available my own satirical piece entitled 'Old Video Recorder with a Slice of Toast in the Slot

With regard to the banking crisis, perhaps we need to revisit the aphorism: Pay peanuts, get monkeys. The new version might be: Pay peanuts, get monkeys. Pay millions, get monkeys.

don't think we should be too harsh on the woman who dialled 999 when her snowman was stolen. At the end of winter last year all the snowmen in our road disappeared overnight. The police showed no interest whatsoever

After miraculously surviving 2 assassination attempts, facing an opponent visibly falling apart, and lightly dancing over the best legal minds’ attempts to prosecute and make him bankrupt, maybe Donald Trump does indeed have God on his side. But then, like Joe Biden, you have to wonder if God is losing his touch.

Seems an awful faff writing all these manifestos, especially when the only people who read them are political journalists. I have a do-it-all single sentence that encapsulates everything they need to say: We're going to make everything better and it's not going to cost you a penny.

If the US Supreme Court confirms presidential immunity from criminal prosecution, I suggest that Joe Biden shoots Donald Trump and strangles five members of the Supreme Court.

I suspect that most people who are willing to commute by bike are already doing so – after all, what is stopping them now?

The portrayal of remainers by writers like Rod Liddle is of a metropolitan liberal elite who regard leave voters as stupid. I don't think they are stupid, I just think they're wrong. I have yet to read anything that explains the actual benefits of leaving, aside from sticking two fingers up to the Eurocrats.

I predict we will start experiencing electricity blackouts in the next decade, and we live in a society that does not work at all without continues electricity.

Tony Blair wants every school to be an academy, he and Gordon Brown were going to end child poverty, send every child to university and eliminate boom and bust. David Cameron and Theresa May were going to sort out Europe. Boris Johnson wanted an airport in the Thames Estuary and a garden bridge over the Thames. I say, beware of politicians seeking a legacy.

I'm sure it is legitimate for the owners of shopping malls to play Christmas songs, such as those by Wizard, Slade and Paul McCartney, in November. But it is equally legitimate for me to tear the speakers off the wall and stamp on them

Reintroducing Help to Buy merely perpetuates housing inequality. We need to build small well insulated properties for rent by councils and housing associations which cannot be sold. This would also help push down rents in the private sector.

One of the problems the government has is to target the poorest with financial aid while not giving money to people who don’t really need it. If pre-payment fuel meter costs were subsidised by the government we could be reasonably sure help is being given to those in most need.

How very enlightened of airports to encourage passengers to use more environmentally friendly forms of transport by charging £8 for a drop off. And there's me thinking they are just trying to screw as much cash out of me as possible for parking for two minutes.