SHORT PLAYS (15 Minutes or Less)
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On her birthday, Linda finds disturbing truths about her ex.
"You’re always like this on your birthday. You always get really excited and then you get really depressed when it turns out to be one big nothing. Birthdays are just the same as other days. You were born 28 years ago. So what?"
LORD AND MASTER
A trespasser turns the tables on a landowner.
"But in order to get off your land, I’m going to have to use it as a footpath. So as far as I understand it, the only way I can get off your land without walking on it, is to ascend vertically. And the only person I know who can ascend vertically is Jesus. And even he probably only did it metaphorically."
THE BELLS, THE BELLS
A newcomer to a village resents some old traditions
"On the hour that’s all right. Couple of ding dongs, that’s alright. I just don’t want to be shaken out of me bed every Sunday morning. If that church was in the middle of a town. You’d have those council noise people round here with their metres on them bells. My wife has nerves you know. She’s at the end of her tether.(PAUSE) And that farmer behind us, d’you know what he’s done. Only put a great heap of manure in the corner of his field. What’s that all about?"
BUY ONE GET ONE FREE
Supermarket rep puts pressure on a supplier.
"I look at the sky all the time. That’s my life, that sky. Look at it - muddy grey. It’s been drizzling for three days. I need a tractor to get down to the fields. It’s all one great sea of sludge. Dig a couple of trenches and you could re-enact the First World War. So you’ll have to excuse me if I’m a bit short of ‘blue sky thinking’