“If you stay here much longer, you will go home with slitty eyes,” to a British student Simon Kerby in China
“I would like to go to Russia very much – although the bastards murdered half my family.”
(On the Duchess of Cambridge) 'Who wouldn’t take Kate’s picture and make lots of money if she does the nude sunbathing thing. Come on, Kate!'
(On Puerto Rico) 'This is an island surrounded by water, big water, ocean water.'
“You managed not to get eaten then?“ to a British backpacker in Papua New Guinea.
“Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?” he asked residents of the Cayman Islands.
In response to a question about the high-profile destruction of Aleppo, Syria “And what is Aleppo?”
A zebra does not change its spots.'
“Do you still throw spears at each other?” he asked an Aboriginal leader.
“Deaf? If you’re near there, no wonder you are deaf,” to deaf children standing near a Caribbean steel drum band
"The buck stops with everybody."
It's freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!'
"Sorry losers and haters, but my IQ is one of the highest - and you all know it! Please don't feel so stupid or insecure, it's not your fault
“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?” to a lady with her guide dog.
“Do people trip over you?” he asked a wheelchair-bound nursing-home resident.
They want to knock down all buildings in Manhattan and rebuild them without windows.
Nobody's ever been treated badly like me."I'm intelligent. Some people would say I'm very, very, very intelligent."
“How many people have you knocked over this morning on that thing?” he asked a mobility scooter user.
“You are a woman, aren’t you?” he asked woman in Kenya in 1984.
"The line of 'Make America great again,' the phrase, that was mine, I came up with it about a year ago, and I kept using it, and everybody's using it, they are all loving it. I don't know, I guess I should copyright it ("Let's Make America Great Again" was one of Ronald Reagan's well-known campaign slogans)
People think there’s a rigid class system here, but dukes have even been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans,
”“Ah, so this is feminist corner then,“ he asked a group of female Labour MPs whose name badges read “Ms”
While BetteMidler is an extremely unattractive woman, I refuse to say that because I always insist on being politically correct.
I look very much forward to showing my financials, because they are huge.
“I thought it was against the law these days for a woman to solicit,” he told a woman solicitor.
“Who do you sponge off?” he asked women at a community centre in Barking and Dagenham.
"All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me - consciously or unconsciously. That's to be expected." "Certain guys tell me they want women of substance, not beautiful models. It just means they can't get beautiful models."
“Yak, yak, yak; come on get a move on,” Prince Philip said to the Queen from the deck of Britannia in Belize.
“Young people are the same as they always were. They are just as ignorant,”
“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”
“In life you have to rely on the past, and that’s called history.”
“Ah you’re the one who wrote the letter. So you can write then? Ha, ha! Well done,” he told 14-year old George Barlow.
“So who’s on drugs here?… HE looks as if he’s on drugs,” he said referring to a 14-year-old member of a Bangladeshi youth club.
.“North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!”
“You could do with losing a little bit of weight,” he told hopeful astronaut Andrew Adams, 13.
“You were playing your instruments? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?” he asked an Australian school orchestra.
“You know, when I was running, 2016, Christmas was like you couldn’t say the word. I said the word. And I said we’re going to bring back Christmas, and we’re going to be saying Christmas.”
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?” he asked a Scottish driving instructor.
“And what exotic part of the world do you come from?” he asked Tory politician Lord Taylor of Warwick in 1999. “Birmingham,” the MP replied.
Trump on reality “What you’re seeing and what you’re reading is not what’s happening,” "There are those that say they have never seen the Queen have a better time, a more animated time." 7/05/2019
“You have mosquitoes. I have the Press,” he joked to the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean in 1966.
“Well, that’s more than you know about anything else then,” he told Michael Buerk, after the BBC newsreader said he did know about the Duke of Edinburgh’s Gold Awards in 2004.
“So it’s a book of pictures, largely, with statements, but a book of pictures.”
The former President of the United States describing his new book.
“What are you doing here?” he asked Simon Kelner, editor of The Independent, at Windsor Castle reception in 2002. “I was invited, sir.” Philip: “Well, you didn’t have to come.”
“Damn fool question!” he said derisively to BBC journalist Caroline Wyatt
And Biden comes in, his son got $3.5 million dollars from the wife of the mayor of Moscow.
”There was nobody tougher on Russia than me, nobody
“Just take the f***ing picture,” he told a photographer at the RAF club in 2015.
“You bloody silly fool!” he exclaimed to an elderly car park attendant who who didn’t recognise him at Cambridge University in 1997
“The ones I didn’t get along with were the weak ones. The weak ones, I didn’t get along with. The tough ones, I got along
This Trump riff on world leaders is so telling. He repeatedly boasted during his presidency about having
strong relationships with authoritarian rulers around the world while casting off longtime American allies. They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps.
“I know a lot of tough people that are stupid.”You don’t say…
“I know a lot of stupid people that frankly are very tough. Those are the most dangerous, actually.”
“Are you all one family?” he asked of multi-ethnic dance troupe Diversity at the Royal Variety Performance.
“You know, I was told if you get 63 million, which I got in 2016, you get 63 million votes, you win. I got 75 million votes. I got 12 million more, more than any other sitting president ever by far, not even close.
.
“Is it a strip club?” he asked a female Sea Cadet who told him she worked in a nightclub.
“Why don’t you go and live in a hostel to save cash?” he asked a penniless student in 1998.
This is just crazy that they got 19 Republican senators to vote for the unfrastructure bill?”
“I'd say that ISIS wants to get you. Do you know that ISIS wants to go in and take over the Vatican? You know, that's a dream of theirs. …I'm going to have to scare the Pope. Look, the Pope, I hope, can only be scared by God.”
“The Philippines must be half empty, you’re all here running the NHS,” he said to a Filipino nurse at Luton and Dunstable University Hospital..
“If it doesn’t fart or eat hay, she isn’t interested,” the Prince said of his daughter, Princess Anne,
"Look at that face! Would anyone vote for that? Can you imagine that, the face of our next president? I mean, she's a woman, and I'm not s'posedta say bad things, but really, folks, come on. Are we serious?"
.
“My son…er…owns them,” he replied after being asked whether he knew the Scilly Isles.
“Where did you get that hat?” he supposedly said to Queen at her Coronation.
"Why would Kim Jong-un insult me by calling me old, when I would never call him short and fat? Oh well, I try so hard to be his friend and maybe someday that will happen."
‘It looks like a tart’s bedroom’ on plans for Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson’s house at Sunninghill Park.
‘It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from her school art lessons’ he said of ‘primitive’ Ethiopian art in 1965.
."I tested positively toward negative, right? So no. I tested perfectly this morning, meaning I tested negative. But that's a way of saying it. Positively toward the negative."
‘Dontopedalogy is the science of opening your mouth and putting your foot in it, a science which I have practiced for a good many years’ to the General Dental Council, quoted in Time in 1960.
‘I have never been noticeably reticent about talking on subjects about which I know nothing’ to a group of industrialists in 1961
.
"Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, he referred to my hands, 'if they're small, something else must be small.' I guarantee you there's no problem. I guarantee."
‘They’re not mating are they?’ on two robots bumping in to one another at the Science Museum in 2000.
‘People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still drying out Windsor Castle’ to survivors of the Lockerbie bombings in 1993.
"I think Pocahontas, she's finished, she's out. She's gone. No, when it was found that I had more Indian blood in me than she did."
‘It looks as though it was put in by an Indian’ on a fuse box during a tour of a Scottish factory in August 1999 ‘I meant to say cowboys. I just got my cowboys and Indians mixed up’ on clarifying his previous comment about a fuse box.
"Is there a way we can do something like that by injection inside or almost a cleaning? It sounds interesting to me, so we'll see. But the whole concept of the light, the way it kills it in one minute. That's pretty powerful." - (When he suggested injecting bleach as a way of fighting coronavirus)
‘Oh! You are the people ruining the rivers and the environment’ to three young employees of a Scottish fish farm at Holyrood Palace in 1999.
‘There’s a lot of your family in tonight’ to business chief Atul Patel during a 2009 Buckingham Palace reception for 400 influential British Indians.
.
"I wouldn't say I'm a feminist. I think that would be, maybe, going too far." - Not many people would, Donald.
"Happy New Year to all, including to my many enemies and those who have fought me and lost so badly they just don’t know what to do. Love!" - Not a bad way to kick off the new year.
"The beauty of me is that I'm very rich
‘Were you here in the bad old days? … That’s why you can’t read and write then!’ To parents during a visit to Fir Vale Comprehensive School in Sheffield,
‘No, I would probably end up spitting it out over everybody’ declining the offer of some fish from Rick Stein’s seafood deli in 2000.
"I had a meeting at the Pentagon with lots of generals ... they were like from a movie, better looking than Tom Cruise and stronger. And I had more generals than I've ever seen."
‘Holidays are curious things, aren’t they? You send children to school to get them out of your hair. Then they come back and make life difficult for parents. That is why holidays are set so they are just about the limit of your endurance’ on a 2000 school visit.
‘People think there’s a rigid class system here, but dukes have even been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans’ in 2000.
."Crazy Joe Biden is trying to act like a tough guy. Actually, he is weak, both mentally and physically, and yet he threatens me, for the second time, with physical assault. He doesn’t know me, but he would go down fast and hard, crying all the way."
‘It makes you all look like Dracula’s daughters!’ to pupils at Queen Anne’s School in Reading who wear blood-red uniforms in 1998.
‘This could only happen in a technical college’ on getting stuck in a lift between two floors at the Heriot Watt University, 1958.
“I have black guys counting my money. … I hate it. The only guys I want counting my money are short guys that wear yarmulkes all day.”
.
‘Ghastly’ on Stoke-on-Trent, as told to the city’s Labour MP Joan Walley at Buckingham Palace in 1997.
“I think that putting a wife to work is a very dangerous thing. …I don't want to sound too much like a chauvinist, but when I come home and dinner's not ready, I'll go through the roof, okay?”
‘Why don’t you go and live in a hostel to save cash?’ he asked a penniless student in 1998.
‘We don’t come to Canada for our health. We can think of other ways of enjoying ourselves’ on a trip to Canada in 1976.
"I mean, the way our country's run, if it doesn't happen to be me that wins, you know what's going to happen? They're going to build a plant and illegals are going drive those cars right over the border. …And they'll probably end up stealing the car."
“It looks like the kind of thing my daughter would bring back from her school art lessons,” he said of “primitive” Ethiopian art
.‘He’s the money man – except we haven’t got any money’ when introducing George Osborne at an event
"I watched when the World Trade Center came tumbling down. And I watched in Jersey City, New Jersey, where thousands and thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down.”
‘That’s about the right number. We have 650 and most of them are a complete bloody waste of time’ when he discovered Ghana had 200 MPs.
‘You’re just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don’t trust me and I don’t trust you’ he said to Sir Rennie Maudslay, Keeper of the Privy Purse
“.@ariannahuff is unattractive both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man- he made a good decision.”
'Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?''
George Bush
"One word sums up probably the responsibility of any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared."
Dan Quayle
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Dan Quayle
I believe there would be many people alive today if there were a death penalty.
Nancy Reagan
I get to go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.
Britney Spears
THE MANY THINGS WHAT DONALD KNOWS
"I know more about drones than anybody. I know about every form of safety that you can have."
"I think nobody knows more about campaign finance than I do, because I'm the biggest contributor."
"I know more about people who get ratings than anyone
"I know more about ISIS than the generals do."
"I understand social media. I understand the power of Twitter. I understand the power of Facebook maybe better than almost anybody, based on my results, right?"
"I know more about courts than any human being on Earth."
"[W]ho knows more about lawsuits than I do? I'm the king."
"I understand politicians better than anybody."
"[N]obody knows the system better than me. I know the H1B. I know the H2B. ... Nobody else on this dais knows how to change it like I do, believe me."
"Nobody knows more about trade than me
The U.S. government system: "[N]obody knows the system better than I do
"I know more about renewables than any human being on Earth."
"I think nobody knows more about taxes than I do, maybe in the history of the world."
"I’m the king of debt. I’m great with debt. Nobody knows debt better than me
"I understand money better than anybody."
"[L]ook, as a builder, nobody in the history of this country has ever known so much about infrastructure as Donald Trump
"I know more about Cory than he knows about himself
Trump said in 2016 that Sheriff Joe Arpaio said he was endorsing him for president because "you know more about this stuff than anybody."
"I think I know more about the other side than almost anybody."
"[N]obody knows more about construction than I do
"I think I know about it better than [the Federal Reserve]."
"Technology — nobody knows more about technology than me."
"I know more about drones than anybody. I know about every form of safety that you can have
"Having a drone fly overhead — and I think nobody knows much more about technology, this type of technology certainly, than I do
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS by DONALD TRUMP
Donald Trump is ever popular with Evangelicals. You can see how much they would appreciate a candidate who is an adulterer, a fornicator, a liar, a crook, a cheat, a racist and who, when asked which was his favourite verse from the bible said: “I wouldn’t want to get into it. Because to me, that’s very personal,” he said. “The Bible means a lot to me, but I don’t want to get into specifics.”
Eric come and help me with this book. How do you open it?
So here are Donald’s 10 Commandments.
1 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Mar-a-Lago, out of the house of bondage (I was never there). You shall have no other gods before Me, especially not Sleepy Joe Biden or those other low-life republican no-hope candidates especially Ron DeSanctimonious. What a loser!
2 “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments. Hey Eric come and read this wouldya, it’s too long and there’s big words.
3 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes. Jesus Christ, what are they on about now. Don’t these morons know how to talk English like Jebus.
4 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it. Oh and by the way it’s ok to play golf at Mar-a-Lago on a Sunday as long as there’s no cheating. You invite these people and they cheat more bigly than I do. Unbelievable!
5 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you. If my dad was alive he’d put a big sign on the stable saying No Donkeys, no Jews, no Arabs and no people who are darker than orange.
6 “You shall not murder. Not when you can get somebody else to do it. And it’s OK if it’s that traitor low-life Liddle Mike Pence.
7 “You shall not commit adultery. Unless it’s with porn stars and you’ve got the money to pay ‘em off. C’mon, admit it, you’d do the same if you had the money.
8 “You shall not steal. Especially if you’re Sleepy Joe Biden and it’s an election.
9 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour unless he’s a Mexican drug-dealing rapist or Crooked Hilary or Broken Old Crow Mitch McConnell
Anyone remember what comes after 9?
10 “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.” I tell yer, you should see my neighbour’s ass
Donald Trump’s Top Ten Books
1.The Bible by God
2.The Art of the Deal (Easy Reader’s Edition) by Donald Trump
3.The Magic Eye Porno Book
4. Where’s Wally #8 (Eric, can you come here and find him)
5. Mein Kampf
6. My Family and Other Parasites
7. Oranges are Not The Only Face Creams
8. How to Completely Hide Hair Loss by Bobby Charlton
9. McDonald’s Take Away Menu
