And so farewell Dave Prowse.
You were The Green Cross Man and also Darth Vader.
Because of political correctness gone mad.
They decided not to use your real voice in Star Wars.
No one understands why.
It would have been brilliant.
'The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant
Next to the force, mind, my lover.
Them thar Starm Troopers done a grand job, did'nus.
I knew that Luke Skywalker when e was a babber.
Come to kill me 'ave you, oo ark at 'e.
You don't not know the power of the Dark Side, me 'ansome'.
That Death Star is ulking and right lush, innit.
No, Luke, me lovely. I am your father, dy'wan a pasty? Yer 'tis.'
Today we reveal the shocking truth about the latest Konspiracy theory.