CLAIMANT: Just tell me something please. Is there any circumstances, at all, ever, in which I can claim and get some money from this policy?
INSURER: Oh yes. It’s all stated quite clearly in your policy document. Is there anything else I can help you with
CLAIMANT: You haven’t got a gun have you?
INSURER: Thank you for calling National Direct Insurance.
MILLER: Is there any particular reason why you don’t want me to see the doctor?
RECEPTIONIST: Yes.
MILLER: And that is?
RECEPTIONIST: He’s not here.
MILLER: I think, that man, in the consulting room is, in fact, the doctor, and the man sitting in front of him is a patient, and the note the doctor just passed over is a prescription and all this business about chair inspectors is a complete cobblers.
DAMON: (Sneering, mimics) I’ve chosen some things. I’d like to pay for them. Do I look like a sales assistant to you?
SHOPPER: Er, yes. And you are standing at the counter Also you’ve got the shop name printed on your polo shirt. And a badge that says SALES ASSISTANT.