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999

LADY999: You need to be calm, sir. We do not accept inappropriate language on
this service

 

MOTORIST: What inappropriate language? Am I not allowed to say the words “fire
engine”

 

LADY999: Or sarcasm.

Angry

DAMON: (Sneering, mimics) I’ve chosen some things. I’d like to pay for them. Do I look like a sales assistant to you?

SHOPPER: Er, yes. And you are standing at the counter Also you’ve got the shop name printed on your polo shirt. And a badge that says SALES ASSISTANT.

Any Moment Now

Quite a few French people in the crowd today. The French of course are ardent admirers of our Royals. They have no such equivalent as these magnificent ceremonies in their, it must be said, rather smelly country. You can’t have much of a stately event, of course, if all the Royal heads are rolling about in a basket… surrounded by flies.

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