Pete Barrett 2021
Pantomimes. Free to perform by arrangement with Author
He’s talking about us, the dear boy.
Sister2 Not you, darling. You’re not just past it, you’ve been round and you’re passing it for the second time.. I remember they had to cancel your 21st birthday because the Vikings invaded.
Sister1 I can’t even remember your 21st. Was it A.D or B.C?
Sister2 I haven’t got time for all this. I need to get ready for the ball.
Sister2 So must I. Now where did I leave that plaster of Paris?
Sister2 Not you, darling. You’re not just past it, you’ve been round and you’re passing it for the second time.. I remember they had to cancel your 21st birthday because the Vikings invaded.
Sister1 I can’t even remember your 21st. Was it A.D or B.C?
Sister2 I haven’t got time for all this. I need to get ready for the ball.
Sister2 So must I. Now where did I leave that plaster of Paris?
World Premier. Now is your chance
MOTHER We must. You’re going to have take Cowslip – dear old Cowslip – down to the market and sell her.
JACK You can’t sell Cowslip. She’s like one of the family. It’s always been the three of us, together. You, me and Cowslip.
MOTHER It’s got to be done.
JACK Oh Mother, you can’t sell Cowslip. Not Cowslip. Faithful, wonderful old Cowslip. You can’t sell her, you can’t.
MOTHER It’s either that, or your iphone.
JACK OK, sell the cow.
JACK You can’t sell Cowslip. She’s like one of the family. It’s always been the three of us, together. You, me and Cowslip.
MOTHER It’s got to be done.
JACK Oh Mother, you can’t sell Cowslip. Not Cowslip. Faithful, wonderful old Cowslip. You can’t sell her, you can’t.
MOTHER It’s either that, or your iphone.
JACK OK, sell the cow.
World Premier. Now is your chance
MIRROR (PUTS FINGER TO HER EAR) Hold on, hold on, I’ve got some breaking news: there’s a maiden just turned sixteen today and she is ten times more beautiful than you, your highness.
QUEEN Really? I don’t believe it. How can that be?
MIRROR Well, we’re all getting on a bit.
QUEEN You may be getting on a bit, but I never age. My beauty is eternal.
MIRROR Oh I don’t know, what about those crows feet round your eyes.
QUEEN They’re just laughter lines.
MIRROR Must have been a bloody funny joke.
QUEEN Really? I don’t believe it. How can that be?
MIRROR Well, we’re all getting on a bit.
QUEEN You may be getting on a bit, but I never age. My beauty is eternal.
MIRROR Oh I don’t know, what about those crows feet round your eyes.
QUEEN They’re just laughter lines.
MIRROR Must have been a bloody funny joke.
World Premier. Now is your chance